If you asked BYU football players who they’d choose as their Mario Kart main, you’d probably get a wide variety of answers—but with some patterns based on position, personality, and vibe. Football and Mario Kart may seem worlds apart, but both involve strategy, speed, and a competitive edge, making it a fun crossover question.
Let’s start with the linemen. Offensive and defensive linemen are usually the biggest guys on the field, and they tend to appreciate characters with power and presence. Donkey Kong and Bowser would likely be popular picks. These characters may not have the fastest acceleration, but once they get going, they’re hard to stop—much like a well-executed pancake block. Linemen might also appreciate the tank-like resilience these characters have in the game, making them hard to knock around, just like in the trenches of the gridiron.
Quarterbacks might gravitate toward more balanced characters—think Mario or Luigi. These characters are dependable and versatile, just like a good QB. They don’t need flash; they need consistency and control. Quarterbacks value timing, decision-making, and a steady hand, and Mario Kart’s all-around characters reflect that well. You could also see some quarterbacks going for Peach or Daisy, especially if they want to show they’re not afraid to be different or enjoy the underdog role.
Wide receivers and running backs? Now we’re talking speed. These guys would likely favor lightweight, quick characters like Toad, Yoshi, or even Baby Mario. They want that fast acceleration, tight handling, and the ability to cut corners and fly past the competition. These players thrive on agility and quick reactions, which makes characters with nimbleness and flair appealing. Plus, who doesn’t want to pull off a perfect drift through Rainbow Road like it’s a breakaway run?
Then there are the defensive backs—competitive, confident, and always looking for an edge. They might choose characters like Waluigi or Koopa Troopa: quick, shifty, and just a little bit annoying to play against. DBs tend to have a bit of swagger, and they want a character that matches that energy—someone who can trash talk on and off the track.
Special teams players might go off the rails completely with their choices. Kickers and punters are known for having a different kind of personality, and you might find them choosing outliers like Shy Guy or Dry Bones just for the chaos. And let’s be real—someone on the team is definitely picking Wario just to stir the pot.
Ultimately, a BYU football team Mario Kart tournament would be chaos in the best way. You’d have intense competition, some playful rivalries, and plenty of bragging rights at stake. It’s not just about winning races—it’s about representing your personality, just like on the field. Whether it’s Toad zipping past Bowser on the final lap, or Mario barely holding off Waluigi in a drift-heavy battle, each player’s main would say a lot about their playing style, mindset, and maybe even how they approach life off the field.
